Bigger picture 🌸

If you review all posts on the blog, you'll notice that there was a strong pattern of : Finding your purpose, appreciating life, being kind. Never did it come to me that all these things were really what this situation was teaching me. I wish persons would really understand that the culture of being selfish, petty, fussy and materialistic are all things that make absolutely no sense and will never matter. Instead of making the situation get the best of me, I loved life harder. I loved my loved ones harder. I learned to say "thank you" more. I learned say, "good job, I'm so proud of you". I learned to express more about the things that I was thankful for, because those are the things that persons will always remember. For this reason, I will have to leave many persons in 2016, because I will not be tolerant of ungrateful, unappreciative, draining and meaningless friendships. 

The last time I saw my step dad, I was afraid that it would be the last time and so I worked tirelessly to meet his needs. I humbled myself if I had to and I had to be selfless even if it meant that I was being called out of my deep sleep. Even if it meant going on my knees to wash his feet because he wasn't able to. Even if it meant preparing his meals when I didn't feel like. 

We tend to be disrespectful and ungrateful to others because we believe that they will always be there. One way or another, life will humble you. 

Don't make a big deal out of nothing. This life is way too short to worried about what persons say out of their own insecurities. There is always something positive out of every situation and if you step back and be calm, you will see it. I definitely won't be hoarding any grudge and malice in my heart to take to my grave. I love this life and I continue to see the bigger picture and live each day accordingly. I hope you'll do the same. 

Have an amazing 2017 💕 and be blessed ✌🏽️

What's your Brand?

"Let excellence become your brand. When you are excellent, you become unforgettable. Doing the right thing, even when nobody knows you're doing the right thing, will always bring the right thing to you."-Oprah Winfrey.

I have never sat and thought about my brand as a person. I usually just do what I do and let things be. However, whether or not we have ever wondered what our brand is, our lives speak volumes to others and what we do, represents us. When I think of "brand", it somehow reminds me of how much I think that "going above and beyond" is my partners brand. I'm always so fascinated by how much he's able to give a hundred and ten percent to whatever he does, even if it means that he ends up being tired, drained and down-right exhausted. He is self-less and to me, that has always been his brand. I sometimes wish I was as self-less as he was, because he barely ever takes into consideration if the other person will ever be able exchange some act of kindness.

I honestly have no idea what I am known for, and sometimes I question my purpose, but whatever it is, I aspire to fulfill as much as I can and leave nothing unfinished. I never hope to attach negative things to my brand. Therefore, I will not brand myself with being selfish, hateful, idle, disreputable or disrespectful. I will do things from my heart, not expecting anything in return, or expecting to be publicly praised. In a sense, your brand has a lot to do with your talents and gifts that God has implanted in you. This then means that your brand is never about you, but it is about others and what you're able to do for them. Are you a brand all by yourself? Or do others determine your brand? There are so many things to take into consideration, especially as the New Year approaches. If you have never given it much thought, (like I have), it's definitely something to think about.

Take care ⚠️

I'm currently getting a pedicure, so you know what that means .. Time to write a new post lol. This is the perfect time to write. I'm relaxed and getting pampered. Who doesn't love that ?

Strangely, every time I get the time to pamper myself, I feel soo guilty. Maybe I could have used this money for something more important. Or when I'm struggling right before my next pay, I think "Lawd, I knew I shoulda saved that damn money 😩" . But what's so wrong with pampering yourself? Spending a little money once in a while to make yourself feel like royalty? Not a damn thing. 

My mother calls me every single day (I know, not even joking) and she ALWAYS reminds me, "Take care of you ! You are number 1. You must love to look good" . These are her exact words, and I have  subconsciously lived by them for years- making sure that I get my hair done occasionally, that I buy new clothes here and there and always making sure my make up and nails are done. Don't get it wrong now, because I don't live above my means. 

Someone else from the outside looking in might say that it's all "too much", but honestly I have never cared. I work hard in school and if I am at work, I work diligently. Therefore, I will take care of myself just the same. You should be a priority in your life and nothing else should come before that. When you look good, you feel even better. You were never put on earth just to work until you return to dust, or to stress yourself so often without a break. No one else may ever take care of you , more than YOU

So yes, hit the gym 

Pamper yourself every now and again 

Go places you've never been 

Make memories with the ones you love 

Is it still too much ? No ? I thought so too 😊

Honesty "makes it work"

I'm asked all the time how I make it work with my partner. Truth be told, I am no relationship guru. Sometimes I don't know what the hell I'm doing and sometimes I got an attitude problem so I don't want to be bothered. But what I do know is that this is the best relationship I have ever been in and now I know what it means to not just "love" but to be in love. The only way I ever achieved this was by being honest with myself. 

We cannot expect honesty from another, if we are not honest with ourselves. Be real about who you are and what you want from a partner. Most of the times, with men, what you see is what you get. If a man wants a trophy wife, accept it for what it is. Do not go into a relationship thinking that you can change a man's perspective. If a man is not respectful to women in general (eg: he thinks women are "bitches") , most likely, you won't be an exception and he won't respect you either. 

Most importantly, do not expect charctieristics of MEN from boys. There is a clear difference between the two and if you are not honest enough to admit, then you will choose grown boys for the rest of your life. MEN are responsible, respectful, they are leaders, truthful, thoughtful and make time for you the best they can. boys, however, (and the word "boys" is in common letters because this what they are- common) are selfish, disrespectful towards your feelings and time, full of excuses and rarely take anything seriously. If you like to play games as a girl then by all means play with the boys. Maybe it's not your time to become a woman. However, if you say you are a woman, and you desire a gentleman, then you must be careful of how you portray yourself. This generation is so obsessed with being "bad bitches" then get angry when all the "dogs" come running. Present yourself the way you would like to be addressed or approached. You always attract what you reflect. If you don't hold yourself to a standard, then who will ? 🤔

Men know what they want and their actions always show it. Bring your standards to the table and if his doesn't match up, then there is no reason to compromise. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we would save ourselves the heartache. Been there, done that, wore the t-shirt and burned that shxt. 

Be honest with yourself and watch your outcomes change and unfold beautifully. 

Truly make it count

I've learnt, perhaps too late, that while on this earth, your time is extremely important. We all seem like slaves, working tirelessly in order to keep up with Master Time, that we forget the reason for life. 

For the past two and half years, my family and I have been rocking through something that taught me an important lesson: "Although time is the master, it is up to you to appreciate life and everyone who appreciates you". It's easy to forget to be a little kinder, love a little harder and forget what wrong was done. Many find joy in being petty and we tend to use our resources for the wrong things. What a waste ! 

I want to experience things and close my eyes and hope to remember it always. To think to myself , "I have not only existed, but I have lived. I want to feel this part my life forever" . What are you using your time to do ? How do you make others feel in your presence ? Time is the master and the clock is ticking .. It's time to truly do more positive and meaningful things. Let your time on earth be one of admiration and honor. 💛

Do you promise to stay in your lane ?

My parents often ask me about my other friends or acquaintances. They ask how they're doing, what they're doing in school and where they are. Sometimes, I genuinely don't know the answer about my friends' progress and my parents get irritated and ask how can I not know. It is simply because I don't care. I know my lane and I stay in it.

This is not to seem selfish or to seem like I don't care about my friends, because most of them hold a place in my heart and are only a text away, BUT I can't let it be my burden to keep up with what everyone is doing specifically. 

I have made it my duty not to look over my shoulder at what everyone else is doing or trying to achieve, but to focus on my own only. Inspiration and motivation from others is good, but if you constantly try to look left or right in a race, you are doubtful and will not win. 

I promise to focus on what I have to do because saying that "I was waiting to see what everyone else was doing", cannot and will NOT ever be an excuse. I will not do it how my friends did it, but I will do it my way. 

Eyes straight ahead 

Tunnel vision 

Staying in my lane 

What to you do when it doesn't come through ? 🤔

You've worked hard, you've prayed , you've kept positive. What's left to do so that you see the results that you've hoped for ? 

Throughout your wait, -relax, think and recognize how far you've come. Where you are now (whether or not you believe you should be more advanced) is all a part of your destiny. 

Everyone moves at their own pace and you must respect your rthym. Comparison is the theif of joy, and so you must keep focused on your progress, rather than someone else's. You have no idea of what they did and went through to get to where they are. If you are not careful, you may end up being envious of another person, yet you cannot handle the work that they put in to get to their level. 

Keep a pure heart and always be happy for others. Whatever is inside is what shows on the outside and what you portray to the universe is what it sends back to you. 

Be patient, life is never a race. 

Your time will come, love. 

Survival 101 🌻

What are the things you'd like to accomplish? 

Places you'd like to see ? 

You become occupied with everything around you, measuring up with what you see, instead of remembering the true meaning of life. 

The next time you become too overwhelmed, remembered that it probably won't even matter in 5 years ! 

Cherish those who love you, appreciate life, breathe -

LIVE ! 🌸

Choose one ☝🏽️

This summer has been a summer of fear and complacency. The mental strength that I had during last semester dwindled because I've questioned every and anything before using faith. 

I hate being too comfortable, because things never get done from comfort zones. I'm thankful to get back into the rthym of classes so that I can be kept on my toes. 

Why do we let fear overtake us? Do we not know how capable we are? Do we forget sometimes that we are powerful beyond measure ? If God hasn't given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and sound mind, thennnn why do we doubt ? If he takes care of the very birds of the earth, why wouldn't he take care of us ? 

Whatever it is that you are worrying about will all work out for your best. Cast fears aside because faith and fear can't be in the same place. 

Which one will you choose ? 

https://youtu.be/rRwQy2eQbJM

Affirmations 💌

We strive to be kind to others , to strangers , but how often are we kind to ourselves ? How often are we careful of what we speak over ourselves and consider our own feelings ? We're willing to compliment others but how often do we compliment ourselves ? 

Positive affirmations, as we know, are healthy any kind of relationship. It allows the other person to be reassured that they are loved, appreciated + cared for. Just as how they seek reassurance, we too deep down seek that affirmation from ourselves. 

Everyone can be their own biggest critics. We question if we're doing enough and we're hard on ourselves when we don't meet deadlines. 

This blog is here to remind you to be patient and kind to yourself . Handle yourself with the best care. Pressure helps us to get things done on time but too much pressure will have us over a cliff. Don't rush things because what is meant to happen, will and what is meant for you will never pass. 

It's time to look in the mirror and remind yourself who is the S.ugar H.oney I.ce T.ea. Remind yourself that you are courageous, strong and resilient . You're already doing a good job. Keep going ! ❤️

What writers want you to know

1. We choose what we want to share to the world. 

Blogs are neither rant journals nor a pages of secrets. Sometimes great thought is put into what we share, while sometimes it's whatever is on our minds. We are selective. 

2. Reading our blogs DOES NOT mean that you know us.

You can never tell what a person's life is like just by reading their blog. Do not use a person's work to tell them that you know that they've been "going through something". As a reader, you are an outsider to their world and have no right to say what you truly don't know. Read, appreciate and stay in your lane. 

3. A blog is not an open invitation for sympathy. 

The misconception that writers only write sad things is absurd. Therefore, if a writer is honest and open, do not abuse their vulnerability to try and comfort when it was never asked of you. A blog is never a call for a pity party. For some, writing is therapeutic. Don't ruin it for them. 

4. What you see is what you get.

Don't put your twist on what you read . Usually, blogs that are much like journals are truthful and open. Don't add false information and don't make assumptions. 

5. We are always grateful for supportive readers. 

Blogs give you a chance to relax, unwind and see a portion of someone else's world. We love that our work can be relatable and touch others' minds. We love our readers. Thank you all so much  ❤️

Why Melanin don't "POP SEVERELY" in real life

It's 12:41 am and my eyes are heavy but scrolling through Instagram makes me want to write about the obvious .. 

Why is our shade a TREND ? 

Why is it that my melanin only "pops" online when in real life WE both know that it will be overlooked ? 

#blackgirlmagic was created to allow black girls to feel beautiful and like they matter 

But why only use it for a hashtag when there's nothing else behind it ? 

All in the name of social media.

Cause the girl you complimented online about her shade, you just made fun of in real life.

The hypocrisy is a shame .

In the back of our minds we know that it's really the "lightskins" that get all the attention right ? 

My melanin is not a trend. 

Be genuine with compliments. 

Uplift in person just as how you "uplift" on social media. 

Or don't say anything at all.

Are Relationships Worth it ?

Firstly, let me say that looking to a blog for answers on if a relationship is worth it is perhaps not the best move, but here you are lol . Only you can truly know what is for you and what works best in your life . There are people who leave this earth the same way that they came .. SINGLE ! I don't believe anything is ever wrong with that because I don't believe that relationships are for everyone. 

#Relationshipgoals is that one hashtag that I HATE. This generation fantasizes relationships based on a few pictures that the couple chooses to show. Matching outfits, posing with money, flossing together at the club - Relationsjip goals right ? Then you definitely shouldn't be in a relationship. 

A union is much more than pictures. It's hard work, consistency and learning to be selfless in a selfish universe. If you're not ready to settle with just one person, to share not just your happiest moments but your most shameful, heartbreaking or irritating ones, then a relationship is not for you. If you easily compare what you have to what someone else has, then a relationship isn't for you boo .

The best condition you can ever be in as a person is one in which you have self-awareness, gratefulness for life and true love for yourself. After all of these, you may be strong enough to handle your baggages as well as those of your significant other.

Giving in to the pressure to "look cute in a relationship will have you delusional and perhaps embarrassed in the future. Know what the foundation is made of. Is it a sturdy one, or will the wind of life blow it flat to the ground? This means that if you're with someone who "ain't shit" then prepare to have an "ain't shit relationship". You will be no exception of disappointments if you see red flags and continue as though everything is perfectly fine , just for the sake of everyone else.

Before anything , think : Am I ready ? Do I know who I am ? Have I achieved personal goals ? Am I doing this justbecause  everyone else is? 

A relationship should be a beautiful thing. There will be annoying days and days where you both will say things that you don't mean, but the love shared should be genuine, pure and comforting. Happiness begins inside and that's how you're able to share it with your partner. One step at time, respecting your rhythm together and helping each other grow.

Take your time . 

Find yourself. 

Breathe. 

Genuine things come at perfect timing.