Dear King, MY
King,
We've only just
begun, and you answered so many questions I asked myself, yet still leave me
with new ones. How did you slowly break such a stubborn being, who spent her
nights shedding tears and building the strongest walls she knew how? I don't
understand, and I never once thought you existed, but I am learning.
I am learning that
it’s okay to close my eyes, feel the warmth of the sun seep into my skin, take
a deep breath and smile without fear. I am learning that when I look at you,
and realize that you are representation of God's love for me, I should smile
and thank him. I am learning that when you hold me, or kiss me, it is real, and
that the Queen I desired to be treated like, is finally, finally taking its
rightful form. I am learning that when you take my hand, I should no longer
resist, wanting to run back the pillows I cried on, or back to my timid, hurt
self, but to hold your hand, smile and trust you.
I am learning that
some days, I will have the worst memories, and I will cry because I am afraid
of losing you. I will shake from anxiety because my heart has been torn from my
chest and thrown out in the sea, like it never mattered. But, I am also
learning that you are leading me out into the sea to help me find it. I think
I've found it, love captain, but it seems very disfigured and it no longer
looks or works like it used to. It's softer, even more sensitive and not as
hard as my facade may have you to think. Here, hold it ... wait, hold it
gently. Yes, exactly like that. I trust you. I am learning, I am learning and I
trust you.
Sunkissd Sincerely
