when it's new, the sweetest words dance from your lips

there are butterflies + curled toes + chesire smiles

until you get comfortable + the jokes are all played out.

what was once "spontaneous" is now annoying + the fingers don't even fit perfectly like they used to 

so you pull away. silence becomes a norm, you both are irritated until it's best to call it quits.

it's done. 

because you didn't fight for it. 

because you didn't try. 

because you think the butterflies will always be there. 

because you don't know that love is not a feeling. 

it's a choice.

- alexiiyaana

I am Learning

Dear King, MY King,

We've only just begun, and you answered so many questions I asked myself, yet still leave me with new ones. How did you slowly break such a stubborn being, who spent her nights shedding tears and building the strongest walls she knew how? I don't understand, and I never once thought you existed, but I am learning.

I am learning that it’s okay to close my eyes, feel the warmth of the sun seep into my skin, take a deep breath and smile without fear. I am learning that when I look at you, and realize that you are representation of God's love for me, I should smile and thank him. I am learning that when you hold me, or kiss me, it is real, and that the Queen I desired to be treated like, is finally, finally taking its rightful form. I am learning that when you take my hand, I should no longer resist, wanting to run back the pillows I cried on, or back to my timid, hurt self, but to hold your hand, smile and trust you.

I am learning that some days, I will have the worst memories, and I will cry because I am afraid of losing you. I will shake from anxiety because my heart has been torn from my chest and thrown out in the sea, like it never mattered. But, I am also learning that you are leading me out into the sea to help me find it. I think I've found it, love captain, but it seems very disfigured and it no longer looks or works like it used to. It's softer, even more sensitive and not as hard as my facade may have you to think. Here, hold it ... wait, hold it gently. Yes, exactly like that. I trust you. I am learning, I am learning and I trust you.

Sunkissd Sincerely